Well...I feel like shit.

Feb. 17th, 2014 04:27 pm
zenzaip: (tranquility)
I just went to talk to my professor today, to let him know I won't be going to America after all. He was pretty upset. He says I'm squandering my talents, and that I might as well drop the program if I'm wasting his time. Luckily, there are plenty of professors willing to take me in, I still feel like I'm letting a lot of people down. I just...I want to be with Senri and Kenya. I need to be with them. I'm still scared what long distance would do to my mental health. I'm just not ready to be away, and I know there isn't anything wrong with that...

Still feel like a failure though.
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Paperwork, Boyfriends, Lost Appetites, and Babies

Feb. 7th, 2014 08:53 am
zenzaip: (Working)
I think I've finally finished all of my paperwork for America. I've also finished my translating work and anything left over for Jigaku. This should mean that I can spend more time with my boyfriends. My therapist suggested I talk to them about my appetite decrease. I know it's something I shouldn't ignore, but it's so hard to admit. They're so excited about the baby that I don't want to ruin their good moods. I don't want to seem like I begging for attention. I just want them to enjoy getting ready for the baby And for me to head off to America.
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