What the hell....

[zenzaip]

Did I enter some bizarro land without anyone telling me? I mean, I'm cool if Kenya is tired every now and then, but that hornball doesn't go a whole week without at least a hand job. He doesn't have the guts to cheat, and if he did, he would never see Tia again. But he's fucking hiding something and it's pissing me off. If something is happening at work, why won't you just tell us, Kenya? Why am I resorting to this fucking post because you seem to only say at most five words to me every day? Can't you see that you're fucking messing with Senri's already fragile head? If you don't want to have sex, what the fuck ever, but the least you could do is treat us like your boyfriends. I'm going to be staying in Senri's room until you can figure this the fuck out.

...And because I'm not in the mood to be a hypocrite, there is something I need to discuss with you and Senri. Nothing current, but a skeleton in my closet that I need to let out. Because I love my boyfriends and want them to know everything because I'm a decent person.

Comments

[wingofkyushu]

Bizarro land... Sounds about right.

Whatever you want to talk about, love... I'm here.

[zenzaip]

I'm just gonna come, like....sit in your lap.

[wingofkyushu]

I'd really like that. Don't know about you but I could really use a hug right now.

[zenzaip]

Me, too...

[wingofkyushu]

Good. Then I have a lap that is depressingly empty and arms that are even more empty... Want to come and fill them up? You're a lot warmer than my pillow.. and nicer to hug.

[zenzaip]

I'm on my way.

[wingofkyushu]

Thanks, Karu. Love you. :)

[zenzaip]

Love you too

[auralhoney]

For as awful as this may sound, if Kenya decided to leave, it is you and Chitose who would never see Tia again. She is blood related to him.

[zenzaip]

Fuck off.

[auralhoney]

Mmm the truth hurts, doesn't it Zaizen? You may want to rephrase yourself when you're speaking about Kenya and remember that he has family that cares about him and will stick up for him. Whatever's wrong with him (I don't know myself), I believe he hasn't said anything for a reason and you need to respect him for that. Not call him an indecent human being because he won't touch you below the belt.

[wingofkyushu]

... When you love someone, when you find that one you want to spend your whole life with. The one who makes you want to be a better person, a stronger person... When you find that one and then have that one you love beyond all reason reject your touch and willingly, knowingly hide things from you. Then you can judge. Until then kindly shut the fuck up and back the hell off.

[auralhoney]

And yet you both are getting upset instead of trying to understand him or why he is rejecting your touch. I feel sorry that he has such selfish boyfriends that don't care for his mental state, and only want his body. That he will stand by your bedside, Chitose, and cry and panic and be heartbroken when you won't remember him, but stays by you anyway despite the heartbreak he's suffering... and because he rejects your touch for his own reasons here you and Zaizen are, telling him he's a terrible person because he won't sleep with you.

I think I have right to judge here, being that Kenya is my family and I see an injustice in how he's being treated.

[zenzaip]

It's not just aboutthe sex. Its just how I know something is wrong. You don't think I tried to talk to him?

[auralhoney]

Kenya is a bullheaded idiot, Zaizen. Talking is never going to be an answer... you must wait it out until he's ready and stay understanding until then.

[zenzaip]

It's hard, okay? I'm upset...I’m allowed to be upset. Especially since Kenya’s acting this way...after everything I know the signs of when someone is about to drop you like a hat.

[wingofkyushu]

Don't damn well assume sex is what I need. And don't damn well assume I've not tried and each time I ask him, every single fucking time I ask him he smiles and tells me nothing is wrong when I KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG. SO DON'T YOU SIT THERE ALL HIGH AND FUCKING MIGHTY AND TELL ME HOW I'M THINKING AND FEELING BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE THE FIRST CLUE!

I don't love Kenya because he's good in bed, I love him because he's HIM and it's HIM I want and need. Here. With me. Not in my damn bed but at my side and me at his. BUT WHEN HE PUSHES ME AWAY HOW CAN I DO THAT? Come on, you tell me? You have all the answers. YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO WHEN HE WON'T TALK TO ME. Come on tell me! I'm all fucking ears because I've tried everything. I've tried talking to him, given him his space, played the happy boyfriend in the hopes he'd come to me... Sort of raging at him till I guilt him into telling me I've got NOTHING!

... So where does that leave us, huh? You want me to go and scream at Kenya till he tells me? I'll do it. I won't damn like it but since it's the only way to get anything out of him... I guess that's all I have left.

[auralhoney]

What I need you to do is calm down, Chitose. I'm glad to see that I misjudged you, and I apologize for that, but taking your anger out on me isn't going to solve anything. You have to either trust him to come to you when he feels the time is right, or force him to realize how the situation is effecting you - both of you.

Not in the same manner that this post was made, by the way. This post made me angry and feel like neither of you deserve his love.

Tell him the reasons you're angry and how it makes you feel, but be careful about guilting him. Kenya's got enough on his mind as well, and as much as I wish I knew what it was myself in order to better help you, he's yet to tell me either.

So just breathe, reassure him that you love him, and wait.

[zenzaip]

Its not just that, you asshole. He’s been avoiding us and acting dodgy.

[auralhoney]

And? You live with Kenya. You should know that he does things for his own reasons. I picked up on it in only one conversation... I would have expected people who claim they love him to do the same.

[zenzaip]

Picked up on what? That something is wrong? I know something is wrong and it hurts that he won't tell me. He says he's fine.

[dr_speedy]

Yuushi? I appreciate you going all defender and sticky family on me, but can you please just shut up. They're right.

[auralhoney]

Then far be it for me to tell you that you should be talking to them. It would avoid this kind of mess entirely.

[dr_speedy]

Uh-huh. Been trying to come up with the right words for about a week.

[auralhoney]

The truth is always the best option, you know. And since when have you been unable to just blurt things out? Go sit them down, tell them, and stop being an idiot.

[dr_speedy]

I'm sorry, but you don't know a single damn how hard this is to say, okay? I'm gonna tell them. I don't have another choice right now. Just please don't make it sound like it's the easiest thing in the world cause it's not. This isn't just something you can blurt out. At least it's not something I can blurt out.

[auralhoney]

I never said it was easy, Kenya. If you haven't said what's wrong by now, I'm assured that it's something very difficult. The point is that it needs to be said, because none of you are happy right now and I know how your heart would break if it came to an end because you stopped communicating with your boyfriends. If it puts your relationship into that much jeopardy, letting it sit there and fester won't help.

[dr_speedy]

... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, damnit I'm sorry. I just...

Okay, there is something wrong, but it's got nothing to do with you two. I don't want you to leave, or to leave you, or anything equally terrible. And even if I did, I could never keep you from seeing Tia.

I... I just... I just didn't want to let you know like this. I... I needed to be sure. Which I'm gonna be this week. I... I just... It's not easy to say. And it's frightening.

[zenzaip]

Kenya, I want to help you...I can’t do tgat with how you've been acting. You know I love you, right? I'm sorry I let my anger get the best of me.